Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
