Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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