i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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