he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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