"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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