the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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