did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
