so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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