She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
where are you?
Hypothermia
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
