I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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