you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
