i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
