Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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