You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
