Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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