I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
