well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
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