Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
