I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
