why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
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