I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
