Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
