Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize