Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
