i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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