I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
