Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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