He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
