So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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