By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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