so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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