words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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