White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
