Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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