Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
the condom got lost in my hair
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
