She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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