Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
