There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
