so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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