idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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