i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
