I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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