I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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