Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
