he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
