Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
3 2 1 whiskey
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
