Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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