I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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