paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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