so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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