just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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