you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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