I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
