You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
