i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
