Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
