OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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