So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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