Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize