she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
